


I'll Miss You

by undernightlight



Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies), X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, But it's his fault, Cherik - Freeform, Erik Has Feelings, Fluff and Angst, Honestly Charles What Are You Thinking, M/M, Poor Erik, honestly what should've happened, kinda sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-12
Updated: 2019-06-12
Packaged: 2020-05-01 18:08:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19183042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/undernightlight/pseuds/undernightlight
Summary: Cuba. 1962. Erik made a mistake and there is nothing he can do now.[What could've happened]





	I'll Miss You

**Author's Note:**

> So I saw Dark Phoenix the other day, and though it wasn't terrible, it always wasn't fantastic, but it did remind me how much I love the X-Men, especially Erik and Scott, and how much I enjoy Erik/Charles as a ship. And so I was inspired to write this nice little short think.
> 
> Enjoy!

The bullets started flying his way, and with ease he deflected them. With a casual flick of his hand, he took the bullets off course, guiding them away. He didn’t care for their destination as long as they weren’t within his body. He realised how foolish that was of him when he heard the sound of the bullet head hit flesh, a sound he’d known nearly all his life, and the deafening cry of the only friend he had. His head whipped round, Charles arced in the air, a hand against his back, and then he fell into the sand.

Erik didn’t hesitate to drop his hands and turn all his attention to Charles, sliding across the loose ground to get to him. His attention should've been on Charles the moment Shaw was dead and it should not of wavered. But it had, and Charles was bleeding and struggling to breath and Erik rolled him over, extracting the bullet with as much delicacy as he could muster. He held Charles against him. He could hear the missiles exploding in the distance, loud and rumbling echoes through the air.

“I’m so sorry,” and he was beyond what words could ever convey. But it was her fault, not his. As he tightened the chain around her neck, Charles spoke out. It took longer that it should’ve to allow the words to filter into his brain and to comprehend their meaning, but Charles was right. It wasn’t her fault, it was his. And he let her go but kept them all at bay. Charles was looking up at him and he felt worthless.

He could feel himself falling, his head starting to spin like a cyclone and Charles was the eye of the storm, his moment of peace and clarity in the mess around him. He cradled his head in his hand, support against his knee and hand on his chest. “I want you by my side.” His voice felt worse than it sounded, strained and aching and burning. Under his fingers, the rise and fall of Charles’ chest was uneven, his breathing staggered. Erik propped him up better against him. “All of us together, protecting each other.” Charles’ eyes had never looked so blue. They reminded Erik of that night they first met, the colour of the ship’s spotlights shining down on them from above, the two of them in a world of their own engulfed by the sea. “We want the same thing.”

“My friend,” and Charles’ voice sounded strained and aching and burning, and Erik knew he caused it all in both of them. Charles reached up. Erik could see the pain on his face, his featured scrunching up as his palm made contact with the cold metal helmet. Fumbling fingers tried to pull it off but he couldn’t, Charles didn’t have the energy left in his. What harm could it do now, Erik thought, and he pulled it off himself, shoving it behind him and returning his hand. Charles’ palm rested against Erik’s face and he lent into the contact, something he found a new sensation in a context he never thought he’d know. “I’m sorry but we do not,” were the words Charles spoke. Eye contact was never broken when Charles spoke again, the words between them, private and intimate and silent to the outside world.

_But I love you._

Erik had though about telling Charles those words in the past, but a moment never felt right for him to speak them. He couldn’t help but see the single tear that escaped Charles. It had been a long time, but suddenly Erik felt like he was fourteen again and about to lose his entire world. He lent forward, meeting Charles and bringing their foreheads together. Charles’ still clutched to him, an arm around his back and a hand against his cheek, and Erik still held onto him, fingers entwined in his hair. Together, their eyes screwed shut, tight. Erik’s breathing was nearly as erratic as Charles’, but he tried to keep himself from falling apart just long enough for his mind to be cleared of all but one thing.

_I love you too._

When he pulled back and looked, he saw the recognition on Charles’ face, but also the sadness and the sorrow. Erik was unsure of what he was seeing belonged to who because he knew what he saw on Charles’ face was also written across his. So maybe they loved each other, but things could never be between them, and they both knew that.

He beckoned Moira closer to take him. She apologised to Charles profusely as he exchanged hands. Charles said it was alright. Erik didn’t think anything was alright at all. He reached back as he stood and scooped the helmet from the sand and placed back on his head. Something in him felt colder as Charles’ presence was lost to him. Erik didn’t know if he ever wanted to see Charles again, knowing just how much it would hurt to see him in any situation that wasn’t them together, but Erik didn’t know what his life would be like now without Charles with him. He supposed he would find out, in time, and then go from there.

He wished things could’ve been different and he knew Charles felt that too. But it was what it was, and there wasn’t anything he could do about that now. He’d already ruined it.


End file.
